Goal Met

Well it's official.  I am 10 pounds lighter at the end of April.  That was my goal and I achieved it and I'm actually two days early. 

Was a rough month.  Work has been very stressful.  I've plateaued for about a week.  I haven't been getting the best sleep in the world.  But through it all I've kept my head and learned a bunch of new things and alas, I have success.  This blog has definitely helped in that when I'm writing I have to think about what is going on with me and it helps me deal with that in a manner not usual, but helpful.  

Next month's goal is the same; 10 pounds.  I've lost, neigh, dropped a total of 55 pounds.  While I'm proud of myself, I don't want to get too wrapped up in the moment.  It's nice to lose that kind of weight, but I will be successful when I can honestly say that I've changed my lifestyle and become a more complete, evolved and healthier human being.  That in the end is what this process is all about. 

Thanks for all the support out there, it's been awesome. 

Junkie

It's the middle of the day and I'm at work, supposedly working on various and sundry tasks which I have no interest in whatsoever.  Then I stop, think to myself "self, that is a poor attitude".  "get a grip, you could be collecting carts at Wal Mart".  Is that supposed to help?  It doesn't.  A particular weakness of mine beyond the plethora that I have is that I have a really low boredom threshold.  Now, that doesn't sound that dangerous, but trust me, it is.

On any given day I suppose I could be considered an adrenalin junkie.  I love that little goose you get when faced with a particular problem or situation.  Not only do I love it, I'm addicted to it...I seek it out and will at times create issues where none existed before, just so I can get that feeling.  Now just because I recognize that in myself doesn't mean I have control over that particular behavior.  It just means that I try not to give in.  I was sitting here not 45 minutes ago contemplating what I could do to ease the mundane tasks of my day.  What danger lurks out there that I could find and thoroughly exploit?  I came up with a few and they would have sufficed, but I pulled myself back and realized I didn't want to suffer the short term or long term consequences of participating in any of them.  What consequences you say? 

1. Creating a crises makes the day less boring, but it doesn't do much for any of your relationships.
2. Scaring the hell out of people is rude and inappropriate behavior
3. Staff people rarely like it when the boss is seeking a rush at their expense.
4. Your boss might not appreciate that you are slightly bored by the tasks that you have been assigned and so you are seeking a way to complicate matters.

So, here I sit, diligently ignoring the fact that I am catatonic with regimentation, dutifully fulfilling every mind numbing task I have assigned myself this day.

What has any of this to do with my weight loss journey?  You have to take a holistic approach to life.  What effects your emotions and your mind also affects your body.  The behavior of creating crisis or establishing a dangerous pattern is not going to be helpful in my endeavor to change physical behaviors.  Actually changing my physical behaviors is much easier than changing my adaptive behaviors, my emotional reactions, my mental health breakdowns.  Just another lesson learned. 

On another note I had a physical yesterday.  I'm pleased to report that all my tests came back very positively.  Despite my best past efforts, my cholesterol and sugar levels were all great.  My liver and lung/heart, circulatory functions are all excellent.   Now while I would like to claim credit for that, I must admit that it's probably mostly genetic.  My mother is 81 and my father 85.  They aren't in perfect health, but they still get around very well for their age.  I'd like to be able to say the same someday, but I can't keep playing Russian Roulette with my DNA pool.



Anybody out there needing advice on any of the issues that make up your day, go to www.cathyisin.com.  She can help.   

Becoming Half the Person I Used To Be: The Plateau

Becoming Half the Person I Used To Be: The Plateau: Drive for any distance in Wyoming and you will encounter some of the most beautiful geographical structures ever seen called plateaus.  A r...

The Plateau

Drive for any distance in Wyoming and you will encounter some of the most beautiful geographical structures ever seen called plateaus.  A rolling high flat table like structure, these formations have been created by ages of wind and rain and snow erosion.   They make up the vistas of the west, breathtaking in their breadth and glorious in their beauty.  My personal favorite of these structures sits about 20 miles from my hometown.  Its is called the Bigelow Bench a ridge that runs right over the top of the Continental Divide.  From the top you can see for 40 miles in any direction...in the distance vista you can see both the snow capped Uinta Mountains and the magnificent Wind River Range.  

There are plateaus and there are plateaus.  From the magnificent to the frustrating.  Yep you've guessed it, I've hit the dreaded weight plateau and that is a plateau I could live without.  

After 2 months of quick 40 pound weight loss I'm a little stuck.  I'm making the same food choices, exercising as much, if not a little bit more, but each pound is painstakingly slow to come off now.  It's at this point when the bounce in your step and the glitter in your eye from your huge successes begin to fade a little. When the process becomes egregious and more like work.  If you're not very careful and understand this part of the process it can really set you back. 

I've had to remind myself more than once this week that this is not an overnight process.  That I'm not just losing weight, I'm trying to change my lifestyle, to be healthier and to live a better quality life.   We live in an instant gratification society and I'm as guilty as the next person of wanting what I want now, not tomorrow, not 2 months from now.  It's hard to not resort to throwing myself on the floor in a tantrum of impatience and scream and kick my feet. 

When the plateau occurs there are a number of ways that I can deal with it.  I can give up and say fuck it, I'm not working my ass off to see no results.  I can decrease my food intake.  I can exercise more.  Or, I can follow the long term investment plan. 

All of these choices come with consequences.  If I give up of course I will fail and the ultimate goal that I am trying to achieve will go unmet.   I've lost a few pounds and then I'll put it right back on with a little more to spare.  If I eat less I step onto a slippery slope of starvation diet.  That's right, I eat less and less until I'm not eating at all.  That's another kind of eating disorder that would take me from the frying pan into the fire.  I could exercise more, but I'm not sure when I could possibly do that.  I work out for an hour and a half in the morning and take at least a hour hike at night.  Not only do I not have the time but I don't want to trade one addiction for another.  There is a healthy level of exercise and then there is compunction, obsession, addiction.  That leaves the long term investment plan.  It's how I keep my financial health, so why is it not good enough to keep my physical health?  I'm not investing in tomorrow, I'm investing in the next 30 years.  My portfolio will grow over time at a nice rate of about .05% per month.  Not even Suze Orman would scoff at that.

So I'll keep driving along this plateau until eventually  I either climb into the mountains or roll down into a picturesque valley.  It won't be effortless, or fun, but it's worth it. 

In Wyoming if you drive far enough the gorgeous plateau ends.  Nothing good lasts forever, but then nothing bad does either.

If any of you are interested in may these kind of life changes I highly recommend you go to www.cathyisin.com.  This lady is great at giving you the tools necessary to make some serious progress.  

I love food

It's true, I love food.  I love the way it tastes, it's texture, it's smell, the way it looks when arranged appetizingly on a plate.  I especially love food that is well prepared and cooked correctly...fresh food.  So why then have I become addicted to processed crap? 

That's the age old questions isn't it.  How do we as humans go from eating fresh, whole great tasting food to eating plastic, artificial tasteless crap and more importantly how do we and when do we start to prefer a twinkie over a avocado?  It's a complete mystery to me.  I certainly never realized it was happening.  I assume it's because most processed foods have the ingredients that addict us.  Sugar and fat.  Sugar and fat, like heroine only worse.  The food industry has understood this fact for quite sometime, sort of like the tobacco industry understood what about cigarettes would be addicting.   So I stand before you and say, I'm addicted to food. 

The problem with being addicted to food is the fact that we HAVE to eat in order to survive.  Unlike other addictions we can't just stop cold turkey and never imbibe again.  It's like an alcoholic sitting at the bar for just one drink and being able to push their selves away.  That can't happen.  That's what to me makes changing my eating behaviors so difficult.  So the dilema is how to maintain love for food but avoid being addicted to it? 

After much consideration I came up with the idea that what I'm really addicted to is sugar and fat.  I'm surely not addicted to asparagus.  Don't get me wrong, I like asparagus, but I'm sure I can push myself away from it.  So the answer to my problem is to avoid foods that are over processed and contain an abundance of sugar and fat.  In fact, quit those two items cold turkey.  Push myself away from the table.  And no, for you out there asking, it's not that easy.  You have to put up with the cravings, your body detoxing and honestly the comfort of those types of food.  It's damn hard, but I can do it and so can you.

So I can love food and it's ok.  I can still eat and at the same time avoid my addictions.  Balance, is the key. 

I love it!!  The things I'm learning about myself and food and health during this process is energizing and extremely fun.  A tip for any out there on the same journey as myself.  Keep learning.  Keep your curiosity about how these things work and you will not fail to make some important life changes. 

Next blog will be about how to love food but not be obsessed by it.  Oy!!!

For anyone needing to talk about life changes I highly recommend you go to www.cathyisin.com.  This lady is great at giving you the tools necessary to make some serious progress. 

WWSBD?

WWSBD?  has become my mantra.  What Would Skinny Bitch Do?  Remember a few years ago when they had bracelets for What Would Jesus Do?  This is my version.  Perhaps it will help me in my quest to think skinny.  

Had a really awful day today.  Work was incredibly stressful.  Came home and want to sit in my recliner and drink cocktails and eat something really really bad for me.  My behavior modification kicked in and I went for a long walk with my dog.  I felt much better after.  Stress gone and I didn't have the after pigfest guilts.  I'll guarantee that I'll feel even better tomorrow. 

Some days it's just really hard to maintain.  Today I succeeded and that's enough for today.  Tomorrow the battle continues.  

Remember WWSBD 

Thinking Like a Skinny Bitch

I was sitting at the food court in the mall the other day.  As is my habit I was people watching.  I'm not a huge fan of people in general, but I do like to study them in their unnatural environment.  As long as I don't have to interact I'm a happy camper.

On this particular day I was studying what food choices people were making at the food court. It became almost immediately apparent to me the difference in the choices that slender people make in comparison to those who are overweight.  Not that skinny people weren't eating fries, or food that was fatty and overly processed, they were, but they also practiced other behaviors that negated what they were eating.  For instance I noticed that a large majority of the slender people didn't eat all of their food.  They left some on their plate.  In my unscientific study they seemed to eat a few fries and then were satisfied and were able to leave the table without finishing the rest.  By an overwhelming majority the heavier individuals ate everything that they were served. 

So what does all this rather obvious observation teach me?  Simple.  Slender people think differently than those who are overweight.   It is inherent.  Like a polyglot they think in the language of thin and they do so inherently.  A sort of zen way of eating or as is more often the case, not eating.  Dead simple, if you want to be slender and healthy you need to think like a skinny person.  If you don't change the way you think you are going to fail.  A person who is still thinking fat may lose weight, but they won't make the more important changes that they need to that will insure that they keep the weight off.   So now not only do I have to learn how to think differently, I have to figure out a way to make "skinny thinking" second nature.    Now where did I put that book on Pavlov's Dog? 

Progress Report

As of today I have lost 37 pounds since mid March.  More importantly I feel much better.  I have much more energy and I am moving with much more ease.  My joints feel much better and my skin looks much healthier.

My goal for the month of April is to lose at least 10 pounds.



See you at the food court!!!   I'll be the fat person leaving food on their plate.